Thursday, April 23, 2009

My Father

The 1st thing I remember about my dad is not the best of all.
I remember I was 5 and my mum came home one night and said we had to run away, she said we had to pack our bag that mama kehinde ( Our next door neighbour) was going to take us to her sisters house.

I remember things weren't so great BTW my parents, back then we lived in a 2 bedroom apt, one room for my mum, the maid and I and the other for my dad. Anytime , I entered my dad's room then, fear would grip me. I remember that anytime we heard his horn or a hr to the time he was to come home my mum would put off the TV and fan it so my dad couldn't tell we had been watching it. we would run to the room and fake sleep, even my mother, yes we all did.

Back to that nite, we rushed and left the maid in the house, fleeing like our lives depended on it, We went to my mum's sisters house. My mum's sis made sure I didn't leave her site for 2 days, It was like my father would appear any minute to come and take me away. During the time we were at my aunt's, they had explained to me I was going to London, even then I understood what was going on and was only too happy to be run away with my mum.

I remember the fear that rushed thru my veins at the airport cos I realised that my mum kept hiding me till we boarded.We arrived in London, it was blissful and I really don't remember much except I was happy until one evening my mum came home with my father!!! She says lasgidi "its daddy, say hello to daddy" I remember stepping back wondering why he had come back..........


Fast forward to today, I was thinking about this because I haven't called my father since February. He had a heart surgery last yr and before u crucify me, My mother and I were there for him. Just been avoiding him lately dunno why. Too many thing have happened thru the years.
He treated us BADLY, Ohh yes he did . Some days I wake up and I feel like I love my father to death and try to convince my younger ones that they should show the man some love , Other days I'm lost my self. I guess I am going thru that phase again.
A part of me feels very guilty and the other part cannot be bothered.

5 comments:

Tinu said...

first time here!
No matter how u feel about him he'll always be ur daddie!!!
I hope one day you forgive him and love him!

Anonymous said...

wow!i hope you forgive him...it must not be easy sa!but at least he came back meaning he was remorseful!!!complicated!!!!!

Lagos Small Girl said...

dear u are not alone. I used to feel exactly the same way towards my Dad. So much mistrust and all but u have to let go. Being Nigerian again u have to take the first step towards reconcilation e.g. by calling

SOLOMONSYDELLE said...

eyah! Its sad you had to go through this with your father. Do call him if you ever feel like it.

Hope all is well.

Fluffycutething said...

At least your dad's "bad behaviour" was towards your mum and not necesarily you... If i chronicle all my dad's meanness to me(not to talk of my mum and siblings) it's probably 10times yours...

Trust me it's true

but seeing as i wan enter heaven...

I just have to let go and keep being a good daughter!!!!!!!

On the other side though, see how husband and wife matters always are sha, despite all that had happened you mum still accepted him back or at least was there when he needed her!!!

Na wa