The Rebel and The African Man

I've been reflecting lately and I've come to the conclusion that I've got alot of mouth on me . Yes I said it , "A whole lotta mouth" , This independent woman thing no easy, cos when u decide u want to be dependent (I mean that in the sense of step down and become all womanly, mushy mush, leaving the reins for someone else) nah wahala ohh. I can testify to it, cos I am in that dilemma.

Before I go, Let me describe my MR to you, Lets call him, Seth. See Seth nah in between Naija Guy, Today he is so westernised and Liberal and tomorrow he is the traditional African man. Me self tire for the fluctuation, Lol ( He's my darling sha). I tell u, He can feel like one traditional person like dat OMG, U guys need to see him, when he swings into action. We never marry self, but when I do something wrong nah " Now Woman listen to me " I go hear. lmao u need to hear him say it, it's so funny. He's like any other Naija man I know, Who wants to wear the pant's in the relationship. Really, I personally dont have a problem wit it, but My mouth does.................

Yes Lasgidi and Her mouth, U see by the time he is on A, Lasgidi has reached P, I tell you, Some days I shake my head and feel sorry for my self, u would think my mouth is on fast forward, ( Pls don't get me wrong, I don't hurl curses or abuses or anything of that sort) Its just that I love arguing. Kai I neva see my type before. My mama self don warn me say make I learn to keep quiet and let somethings go. Ohh the poor guy!!! I wonder how he copes with me, In my defence I must say he doesn't take it easy too with me when I start. lol

Let me address the cause of this MOUTH, I have,

I hate feeling vulnerable, wrong or stupid- Yes I can't deal with not being in control of anything, A soon as I realise I've lost power at some point, Trouble starts. Ohh well let me say I argue my way back to control. Lol, It's an uneasy feeling I just can't explain it. I AM SUCH A DRAMA QUEEN. 1st off I start crying about every little thing, I swear the vulnerable thing gets under my skin, Dunno what am gonna do with my self when it comes to marriage.
Seth on the other hand cannot stomach this behavior and he tends to build a wall around himself, Jesus the worst thing u can do. Well, yours truly starts arguing about how u looked at me when u came in so we can talk and I can get outta my state of God knows what. Lol

Second thing is, There is this thing in my head that compares everyone I date with my Father. It's a horrible thing. OMG. I need to stop it. As soon as I smell a trait of Baba Lasgidi on you, Omo nah die ohh. I love my father today, so I feel guilty for putting this down. But kai the greatest fear I have is marrying someone like my dad. It's another thing I cannot explain.

Third thing is, I AM STUBBORN !!! Well I've started Working on it. I am so set in my ways its unbelievable.

So I decided last month to be the Woman the Bible talks about and control the head from the neck, Lol. I tell you its not been easy but at least Seth's Happier and I am learning alot from this change...............


I thank God for Seth in my life, who has learnt to tolerate and love me with my drama.

love ya Babes.